Salesman

It occurs to me that selling things is difficult. A friend was offered the chance to sell tickets for something and upon further mulling, I realized you could probably rake in lots of skrill (see: Cheese, Cream).

However, fat skrill-wad-making is usually contingent upon ones ability to actually sell what they are selling efficiently. And I would just suck at that.
Let me break it down for you.

Some people have the gift of Sell. They can completely not care about the ability, the quality, the point of their product and still make it sound like a magic ice cream cone tree.

Me...not so much.
If I know this seed will not an ice cream cone tree make, I can't sell it. Here's an impression.

Ding Dong
Kindly Citizen: Oh, good morning. Can I help you?

Me: Good morning! Let me ask you a question that I can probably guess the answer to...Are you interested in seeds?

KC: What?

Me: Seeds! And ice cream, too? Wait, I shouldn't tell you that part yet. Let's start over.
brief moment of silence as i compose myself mentally
Good morning! I have seeds for you!

DOOR CLOSING.

That's just a worst-case scenario for something that i'm not sold on myself. However, if I do believe in the product, well you better believe the gift of Sell is suddenly alive in me as some enzymes after I drink a little watermelon lemonade (trademark: King of Drinks).

Here are a few things I think I could sell the crap out of and make you and your company a fat wad of skrill.

1). John Williams.
And I'm not talking about the spanish guitar stylings of some dude with extra long strummin' nails. I'm talking about the man who has provided sound to color our imaginations since the 1960s, and specifically who gave Steven Spielberg that extra goodness that has made him an icon.




Sells itself.



2). Pumpkin lattes.
Not only do they scream deliciousness of fall. They also are hot as lava and can be used as a weapon against hobos trying to rob you for change (which you don't have anyway, because you just generously tipped the barista).
I love pumpkin lattes (after they're cooled down enough to drink of course. those tongue burns last for a week!) so much, I'm not even going to pick a company here to court me into becoming their spokeswoman. I'm just going to show ALL of them right here and now how they could make millions this season from this drink alone and then may the highest bidder win.