Think of it – you just finished a killer workout, you’re peeling the soaking fabric from your body and diving for the shower because you feel revoltingly gross and people are starting to whisper/faint.
Twenty minutes later, you’ve got “gym soap hair” (when you’ve used the “luxurious hand wash” provided to wash your scalp into a mullet) and you’re walking to your car in the freezing cold because the gym shower knob only has 2 settings: SURFACE OF THE SUN and ICE.
You throw your gym bag in the back seat of your car and fumble with the heater. You get home. You take real shower. You heat up some corn. You watch Netflix. You pass out over a bowl of corn.
You wake up at 3AM and slink off to bed.
You take the next day off from the gym. You deserve it and you kind of can't walk anymore.
Three days later, you decide you better get back to the gym (you’ve started putting butter on all that corn you’re eating) and go to grab your gym b-
WHOA!
What is that smell?
Whew, that is ripe! Did something die in your gym bag?
You unzip it – a wall of putrefaction punches you right in the eyeballs. What could it be? An ancient pair of dentures? Plague rats?
Then you find them…your gym shorts, left to huddle together in a damp ball amid puddles of your 4 day old sweat. Mold stink everywhere. Those shorts are DONE.
See, if you only had my No-Mold gym shorts all you have to do is worry about those gym showers. Terrifying.
Now we just have to think up a good name – No-Mold Gym Shorts doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue. Here is my starter list:
- Smell-Eaze.
- Flavians (ooh fashiony)
- Slander Free!
- Skrins.
- Cannonball King Shorty Shorts
Obviously, I need your help. Please send in non-mold gym shorts names (or your pick of the brilliant list above) by commenting below.
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